Vortex Surfers

by bellamillefiori

Ok, so I’m blogging now.  Never blogged before.  I’m a little nervous putting myself out there.  Just write, don’t worry.  One of my issues is perfectionism.  I have a need to be perfect because others are watching, others are judging.  Will I be deemed good enough?  Good enough for what?  Good enough to belong.  In the world.  Of course I’m not perfect.  But I try to be as flawless as I can.  A flawed person trying to be flawless.  Ok, so I’m not flawed.  But I’ve felt like it most of my life.  Mistakes are shameful.  I’m learning to let go of it.  But after  a lifetime of harshly judging myself it’s hard to change. I think sometimes I can do it and somtimes not and it will be a life long challenge.  But it is easier these days.  Drivel, drivel, drivel….OK, I’m done.