Vortex Surfers

by mastgirl

Well, here it goes. Today is one of those days. Where waking up is torture due to being slammed with anxiety before I even open my eyes, and it just seems to get worse from there. I’m rattled from the beginning with a whole day stretching out before me. I’m then alone for part of the day so the part of my brain that is struggling to calm itself has to compete with the part that seems to just want to do me in with the thinking, thinking, thinking….ugh. I do think that part of this anxiety is related to my unlimited ability to put things off that need to be done…that dreaded “P” word. I see one thing that needs to be done and it leads to another, then another until I’m surrounded. It’s not that I see one thing then do it, then see another…it’s that I almost see them all at once…it’s that I just keep adding more to the to do list in my head until it’s too much. All of the chatter in my head about just what kind of person I am is absolutely exhausting. It’s so easy…think Nike -just do it…please do it.

So, I either sit down and open the computer or wander from room to room until I am really in a tizzy. I want to focus on one thing at a time…just one and I want it to be crystal clear…simple. Maybe that’s it, I just want life to be crystal clear and simple…is that too much to ask?